Today’s the Fourth of July here in the USA, so if you’re American and you’re reading this, Happy Independence Day!
The Fourth of July usually consists of the smell of hotdogs on the grill, bathing suits, awkward family encounters, the only time you can use your blue eyeliner, fireworks, and other festivities to celebrate Our Beautiful Country.
At least, that’s how it looks on tv.
For my family, the Fourth of July is quiet. We still dress up in our red, white, and blue, but don’t go to a big party. We grill, but only enough chicken and corn for three people. We haven’t gone to the fireworks in our neighborhood for the last few years because it’s always been packed, but somehow hearing the pop and crackle as they burst into the sky a few miles away is enough.
To be honest, I don’t even feel American. I learn about them at school, learned about the successes and difficulties and the days that made today, but I don’t identify with the Americans. The very fact that I call them “the Americans” instead of “us” should be an obvious indication.
I’m not from here. I’m an immigrant. I was born in a third world country fifteen years ago, and I love it there. That’s my home. I hardly have any family here, all my grandparents and cousins and aunts and uncles are from back there. I only came here nine years ago, and while I’ve spent more time here than I’ve spent in my home country, it still hasn’t been enough to call the USA my home.
Not that I don’t love living in America. It’s absolutely amazing here. I have more freedom than I would have anywhere back home, great education for a much lower price, and I’m exposed to so much more different cultures and foods and ideas. I just still feel like I’m not an American, even if I’ve been living here for nearly a decade.
I guess what I’m saying is, I’m american by legal nationality, but I’m still living somewhere else in my heart.
Sorry for the cheesiness.
That’s just what I’ve been thinking about lately. Hope this didn’t put a damper on your Independence Day.
Happy 4th! 🙂
~Annika
I just wanted to give a big thank you to everyone who looked at and read my previous post. You all were so lovely with your comments and likes and feedback, and I am grateful for and appreciative to anyone who ever takes a look at my blog. Love you all! xx
dameannika 